With cold and flu season coming on, any cancer mom would be worried. But I'm particularly worried because the treatment protocol that Matthew's on right now is one where they will constantly juggle his Chemo to give him the strongest dose possible without making him neutropenic (ANC below 500). They will, however get him as close to neutropenic as possible. See, the methotrexate that they're giving him through his IV this round drives counts down. They know that. But it's also very effective, and they want to give him as much of it as his little body can take. So, I feel a little bit like we're walking a tight rope. I want him to have as high of a dose as he can, too, because it's effective. I want him to have the very best chance possible. But I don't like that his immune system will be so compromised for it. Especially right through cold and flu season.
So, for the first year in our lives, we will all be getting flu shots. None of us ever have before, and now all six of us will. Before, I always thought it was a waste of money. Who knows what strain of the flu you'll be exposed to? Right? And the vaccine only protects you against one. I think. The thing is, I don't know, because I never had a reason to care that much. But anyway, I never subscribed to the popular belief that they are effective before. I even heard stories that people got the flu because of the shot. That still makes me nervous. The flu is serious business in cancer world. But, it's funny how your mindset changes. I know I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the things that used to be important suddenly aren't anymore. Your eyes are just opened up to a whole new world. Now, we're all going to get the shots in an attempt to protect him from that serious business.
Matthew's feeling just about the same as the last post. Sleeping extra hours - usually at least an hour in the morning, and sometimes taking a long nap. If he doesn't take a nap, he's rather grouchy in the evening. His knees and ankles are hurting him. Not much, but enough for him to say so. Yesterday morning, he said his forehead hurt, and his tummy. None of it alarmingly so, but it's sad to me that my little three year old is dealing with those kinds of aches and pains.
His hair seems to be growing in even faster, all of the sudden, and it's dark. I think he's going to end up with darker hair than he started with. That will be interesting to see. I know it sounds weird - and the cancer moms all told me I would feel this way - but I really love his bald head! He never went completely bald, he just had some peach fuzz left when the hair all fell out, but I really like the peach fuzz. I rub his head, and lay my cheek on it, and kiss it constantly. I am, however, excited to see his hair grow back. He'll look like such a little man! He's going to lose it one more time, but I'm starting to think that he'll get it all back first. Never would have thought he'd have to lose it twice. Oh well. I always say this - it's the side effect that doesn't hurt. So, it isn't worth worrying about.
Also, I've noticed that his face is much thinner. People who haven't seen him in a while are surprised when they see him. Yesterday, the teacher who comes and does his preschool came, and she said that she thought it looked like he had lost all of his weight. When he was on the steroids, he gained 18 lbs in 28 days. In the week or two afterwards, he lost 8, and has held steady since. The thing is, he's still getting thinner, but his old pants are too short, so I think he's growing into the rest of that weight. They told me at his diagnosis that he probably wouldn't grow at all this year. So, I think his tough little body is defying the odds and growing anyway. I'm pretty pleased with that.
I seriously love that kid!
With the rain, it makes it hard to take him anywhere - especially since I'm worried about him getting sick anyway. He's feeling pretty cooped up, and gets mad whenever I leave the house and don't take him with me. Poor little guy. I wish I could figure out some way to help him with his cabin fever!
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