We still feel like we're not ready for the next 8 weeks. Matthew starts Delayed Intensification tomorrow. That's round 4 of 6 in his Chemo road map. Delayed Intensification is the scary one. Matthew will soon lose all of his hair again. (I know - it's the one thing that doesn't hurt - but it always outwardly shows how intense things are) This time, he'll lose it all, too. Last time, before the hair managed to fall all the way out, there was peach-fuzz underneath in its place. He never even lost all of the original hair. He kept all of his body hair, and things like eyebrows and eye lashes. This time, that will all go. He will be bald as a cue ball. His counts will be low during the holidays, and it will be surprising if he makes it through this next 8 weeks without a delay or hospitalization. So far, he hasn't been delayed, so I hope that doesn't happen, but if it ever will, it's now.
Having these last two weeks off has been wonderful. He feels great, and we can really see a difference. We even left him with someone else for an evening! My sweet Sister-in-law, Andrea, offered to have him come and play with his cousins to give us a night off. He was so excited! These days, he runs around in just undies most of the time. (What can I say? I pick my battles) When he heard me talking about having him go to Andrea's, he went and found shoes, and put them on without socks, then in just shoes and undies, said he was ready to go. He's such a funny kid! He had a great time, though, and I really felt how just a couple of weeks without Chemo makes such a big difference. I hope he will feel more like this when we finally hit Maintenance. If not, I have to wonder how on Earth he's going to handle Kindergarten.
Anyway, it has been an enjoyable couple of weeks. His last Chemo treatment was on Halloween. Granted, he still had to go to the doctors for his kidneys, but those are like regular doctors appointments. You go in, you wait for a long time, you see the doctor for a couple of minutes, you chat about his progress, and then you go home. Not like a home away from home, which is what the clinic is like.
I have a love-hate relationship with the clinic. They are wonderful people, really. All of them. They take such great care of these kids who are suffering so much, and they look out for the entire family. You really get to know and love them. I can't imagine how I would have gotten through all of this if they were as busy and businesslike as most doctors offices are. These people work hard to make sure you're comfortable there - and it really shows! And if they didn't, things would be a LOT harder.
BUT, I hate the clinic for reasons that are probably obvious, but I'll state them anyway. It takes SO much time! Sometimes as many as 8 hours. Plus - you know - there's that whole poisoning my child thing. And he has to be examined by at least 2 doctors every time, which he hates. And it's drama to access his port, every time. He still hasn't gotten used to that.
One thing's for sure. It doesn't matter if we're ready or not. Clinic is tomorrow, and we start Chemo again. Friday he'll get the Doxorubicin, which is the big guns. This is one of those times I have to remind myself that it's better than the alternative.
Doxorubicin will kill the ugly cancer monster. There's another love-hate relationship for you.
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