Another Round Bites the Dust

Well, yesterday was Matthew's last treatment on Interim Maintenance I. So, we're done with 3 rounds, and have 3 more to go. Please don't mistake that for halfway, though, because it feels like Maintenance will last FOREVER! But, at least when we get to Maintenance, he'll only have to go in once a month, and most of his Chemo will come in the form of pills. Providing, of course, that everything goes smoothly for 2.5 years.

He's still technically in IM I, but they build breaks into it. He's supposed to have a 16 day break, but his doctors are there on Tuesdays, so in order to sync back up with their schedule, we'll go in a day early to start the next phase.

The next phase is Delayed Intensification. If it sounds scary, that's because it is. I'm really not looking forward to it. It will probably be as bad as Induction was. Induction was the first month, when he wouldn't get up off the couch, and he gained 30% extra body weight. They're adding a new Chemo called Doxorubicin, which is the big guns. He's going to lose his hair again, and this time, it'll be every last hair - eyelashes, back hair (he's a little monkey), eyebrows - the whole shebang. He'll be a little Q-ball by Christmas.

He also has to go back on the dreaded steroids, which I recently found out was very possibly the cause of the kidney stone. I talked to his doctor about that yesterday, and she put it in perspective for me in a very real way. I really love how she doesn't sugar coat things. Honestly, I do. It can be hard to swallow sometimes, but she keeps it real, and that's important, because I'm never under any illusions. Anyway, she told me that the steroids add to his chances of a cure. If we didn't do them, it would decrease his chances of survival. A kidney stone is an acceptable side effect, because it isn't life threatening. Wow. It brings home how bad cancer freaking sucks. I'm going into this next month knowing that I'm going to give my baby the poison that caused him all that pain. And I really - really - don't want to. But (deep breath) it's better than the alternative. It is SO hard that I have to choose between causing him pain like that or risking his life. I'm sick with worry over it. But, it has to be done, so we'll just plod forward and get through it.

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I'm a member of an amazing group of women on Facebook, that have formed a support group. We all have kids who are being treated for cancer of one kind or another at Primary's. We're spread out all over the state, and there are a few who are in Idaho and Nevada. We have shared all of each other's ups and downs, and it keeps us very close. I have two particularly close friends whose kids are just ahead of Matthew in treatment. Both are in Delayed Intensification right now. I'm watching what these kids are going through, and I'm worried about them. I'm worried about their moms and dads. And I'm worried about Matthew over the next few months.

One of the cuties I mentioned has had chronically low counts, and has had to be hospitalized for fevers a couple of times. His mom smiles through it all, and I am amazed by her every day. The other has had decent counts, but just had surgery for a kidney stone. Her mom also keeps an amazing attitude about it all. I am humbled by these women. I have to really work not to be bitter when Matthew is going through the trenches. I hope they know what an example they both are to me.

I'll ask again, if you are one who prays, please keep Matthew in your prayers in the coming months. Tyson and Lanee, too. If you are not, please keep them in your thoughts. I know for us, it carries us through, so thank you.