It's been a rough week for me. I belong to a support group on Facebook made up of around 100 moms in Utah who have a child with cancer. They have been an amazing support for me during this difficult adjustment time, and I've made some friends already that I think I will stay friends with for life. One of the moms lost her son, Daniel Allen, on Monday. Please keep the Allen family in your thoughts and prayers this week, as they cope with their loss.
For some reason, Daniel's passing was really difficult for me. I've never actually had a conversation with his mom, just made a few comments back and forth with her online, and I never met him. But watching this process from such an intimate point of view was difficult for me. It isn't right for a parent to outlive their child. I am a firm believer that fair is a subjective term, and I hate when people say something isn't fair, because everyone has to make the best they can with the circumstances they're given. But to lose a child in such early years of life (Daniel was 7) is not fair. So, I guess that's where I draw the line. A parent shouldn't have to go through that. My heart is heavy for the Allen family right now. They're handling this with so much grace and strength, which I admire more than words can say.
The second reason I'm struggling this week is work. My job is a great job. I work for a really wonderful company, and the management in my department really is fantastic. They were able to work out a schedule with me to allow me to work part time, and still be able to keep Matthew home all the time, because he can't go to daycare. I wish I could just stay home and take care of Matthew all the time, but we'd have to starve and go naked, so I need to work at least part time. So, my company has allowed me to set up a schedule that will only require 3 work days a week. Mondays and Fridays, I'll work 4:30 - 10pm, and Saturdays, I'll work 7 am - 4:30 pm. I went back to work Monday. That was rough on me, too. I'll get through it, though. My job is really quite great, so I know I'll adjust - it'll just take a few days.
Aside from that, though, Matthew has had a wonderful week. He started his new round of chemo. This time it's a pill called 6MP (I don't know what the MP stands for) once a day. It's a chemo pill. And he'll go in for Methotrexate once a week in his spinal fluid. With no steroids, Matthew has lost 8 of the 18 pounds he gained. He is back into some of his old clothes. He can play again. He can run. He still has a slightly difficult time with stairs, but he gets stronger every day.
I don't think there are very many side effects plaguing Matthew. He's a little bit more sleepy than he was during his break between rounds. That just means he chooses to take a nap in the afternoon, which is no big deal. He took naps right up until he stopped going to daycare. I think he might be having some discomfort in his stomach, but not pain. He hasn't complained of any pain, and I haven't given him any pain medicines since the day we got out of the hospital for his little virus almost 2 weeks ago. His hair is still falling out. It sped up a little for a couple of days, and there was hair everywhere, then it slowed back down again.
Matthew has enjoyed his time this week. His counts are up, so we took him to see a movie. Smurfs. He really enjoyed the movie theater. He's been back to the park, and he's gone outside to play in the sprinklers a few times. He wants things to do to keep him busy. Gone are the "sick" days of laying around and watching Spongebob all day. He does puzzles, and colors, and does crafts every day. All of you who gave us those things as gifts, they are getting much loving use now. Thank you!
I'll end my entry today with some pictures. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!
Playing in the water
Mikey has one last week of summer with Matthew because his school is getting a late start this year due to painting.
Mikey loved the sample chair at the movies. It moves and shakes with the images on the screen. They show previews on it at The District.
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