Sweet Matthew Burr

Wow! It's been a few days since I've written.

Wednesday night, Matthew had insomnia, yet another steroid side effect. He usually puts himself to bed, a little earlier than he used to go to bed. But Wednesday night, he just couldn't sleep. It took until 9 am Thursday morning to get him to sleep.

Then Thursday, for simple reasons, Matthew's Dr. appointment was much longer than expected. Nothing was wrong, but we had to wait on the Chemo, and redo his blood work to make sure it was right.

By the time we got home, we were all exhausted. Justin and I went upstairs to lay down, and Matthew was having a rough moment in the bathroom. He doesn't throw up, but sometimes it hurts him when he has to go to the bathroom. So Mikey came to get me, and our neighbor came with dinner. It was the most chaotic moment! Matthew was in the bathroom crying, and I was trying to get him some medicine. My neighbor was bringing dinner in, and she put some juice in the fridge, which is overflowing full because I need to clean it out, and she bumped a container of watermelon chunks, which of course fell and burst open. So, we had a mess on top of it. Her kids had been so excited to make Matthew dinner, that they were looking around to see what was going on, and Mikey was attacking them with hand sanitizer. My poor neighbor probably thinks my house is like that all the time!

Her dinner was so cute! She brought tiny sandwiches on homemade bread, with cocktail umbrellas in them, corn on the cob, and a big braided bread stick for Matthew. And she made Mister Potato Head cake pops - they are really adorable!



Then, my nephew Cody came with his girlfriend Jenny. Jenny has spent the last week or so making Matthew a new blanket. It's so cute! It has penguins on it, and it's made from the softest fleece I've ever felt!


It really amazes me how much help is still rolling in. In the form of school clothes, and dinners, and taking the kids out. People want to clean, and they send money. There are cards in the mail, and phone calls, and invitations to do fun things so we'll keep our sanity. My counselors have taken over primary without asking for a thing from me, yet when I asked to do a sharing time, they turned it right back over to me, regardless of anything they had planned. Our ward has arranged to have the sacrament brought out to us. There are fundraisers being planned, with so many people willing to donate their time, talents, and resources to make them successful.

If there's one thing we've learned through all of this, it's how to accept help. Before, we would have had too much pride to accept all of these things - especially the money. But now, things are different. Money is just a means to an end. We have to pay the medical bills, and we need a place to live, and the kids need clothes, etc, etc... But the thing we really need to devote ourselves to is our family.

The hospital assigns all of the cancer families a social worker. She's really very nice, and she's there to make sure we know what resources are out there for us. She checks in on us to make sure we're adjusting okay. She told us on Thursday that a cancer diagnosis is considered a crisis, and it takes at least 6 weeks to adjust to a family crisis. We're only halfway there. It's interesting, the stages we go through. Every time I think I've adjusted, I have one of those days. The kind of days that provoke tears at every turn. Then, I work through it, and something else crops up - or nothing, but I get emotional anyway. Our social worker said that's expected right now. It made me feel better.

I decided I have a few "crazy" cards that I have permission to play. At least for 3 more weeks.