The Kids

I had my first topic request - Hi Chrissey! I'd love more, so if you have a burning question, please feel free to ask!

My cute friend Chrissey wanted to know how my kids are dealing with all of this. I can't believe I haven't mentioned it before! I don't want to embarrass them by sharing too much personal detail, but I think I'd really like to share some of the more positive aspects.

I do have to say, I have such great kids. I am amazed at how beautifully they have all managed to deal with it. They help me to care for Matthew all day long. I'm not sure how I'll manage when they go back to school!

There's always a lot of running around. I've said this before, but Matthew is constantly either eating, or talking about eating. Before he eats something, we have to sanitize his tray (he has this little lap tray that we feed him on so he can stay in bed or on the couch), then we have to sanitize his hands, and then we have to deal with the food. By the time he's done eating, he's ready for another round. So, we're constantly running. I often send the nearest child, and there has been no complaining about who's turn it is, or who does what the most. They always just do it. It's heavenly!

They each have their own different way of dealing with it emotionally. Alaina always wants to buy him things, and Allison wants to know every detail - I think to reassure herself that he's going to be okay and to figure out what she can do for him, and Mikey wants to entertain him - he's always looking for ways to cheer him up. I have really had the opportunity to see how much they love him through all of this. They always want to be around him, and show him their love. It's really something else.

They each have their different coping mechanisms too, and most of them are positive, like diving into music, but some of them are things we'll have to work on, like jealousy (of all the special attention, not the illness...). The social worker said they all have very normal and expected responses based on their ages and birth order. I'm feeling pretty good about even the negative reactions, because they're getting their feelings out on the table and we're dealing with them.

No one has whined and complained about chores at all, which is such a treat! I've changed the way the chores get done so they'll actually get completed more often. I've also added a lot more wiping things down to the list. We practically invested in Clorox for their handy little wipes. They deal with the extra work really well, because they all really do understand that I'm just trying to protect their baby brother.

All in all, I think this experience has pulled our family closer together as a whole. (See Chrissey? I usually manage to add a silver lining.)

The social worker said that this is a time of family crisis, and it usually takes 6 weeks to get your feet back under you after a crisis. We're currently 4 weeks into this, so we're just about there. I think we've all figured out how we're going to adjust to it, and now we're ready to kick cancer's butt!